"How the hell did I get here so soon," this, a cryptic lyric from the above Tom Waits song, "I Don't Want to Grow UP", may most accurately describe my mood the past few years.
If you're familiar with BEYOND THE RUBICON, you know this blog has addressed some interesting subjects and been down what some would call strange and also more serious paths, some of these being conspiracy theories and also thoughts after my mother's passing.
These years are best described by that great German word: ANGST.
This entry marks a new beginning for this blog and it comes after what most would call a "mid life crisis".
I've reflected on much the past six years and if I've learned anything, its that learning and growth is a continual process. Many would think this is obvious, but maybe not.
I can only guess but I think most people realize sometime in their twenties (at least here in these great, United States) that one never exactly "arrives" or reaches a point where they're an adult and that they've "grown up." I learned it at 45. Experience in "Mid~Life" has rather loudly screamed through a major heart ache/break, financial challenges, and what may be typical, dissatisfaction with one's state in life and choice of profession, "FAILURE!"
Now if I remained at this crossroad or mental place, believing this to be my permanent state and chose, whether consciously or unconsciously, to dig in for the long, boring road to the grave, Wait's song would be the perfect blues for that road. By GRACE, I can only say that Providence has allowed to see that there is more, that the future time can be redeemed, and that "it ain't over til its over!" I believe God has brought men and women into my life to be both mentors and also speak prophetically.
So, ya boy is back (or maybe I should say "the man", lol)!
Moving forward this blog will be a notebook of sorts to continue to explore faith, art, poetic ramblings, and lessons of life.